I am learning to hide at the right time.  Your mommy was talking to you about a rest, you cried as you dragged yourself up the road, “I am not crabby.” You wailed.  I ducked down in the yard as you looked toward my place.  “Where is she?  I know she’s home.”  Mommy saw me, but said that Grandma is busy and can see you after your rest.  Yes, I have to give your family some privacy.

Really, little one, many families live together with generations sharing the household, sharing the adults. We were more used to it in harder times, and on farms and in the country or small city spaces before the 50s.  We were familiar with the kind of things that come up.  We have to figure them out by ourselves up here.  Can I see Grandma now?  Can I eat lunch with Grandpa?  Can we use these shovels, the hose, borrow coffee? We have to bump into it, soothe our bruises with an ice pack, a cool drink or a few tears and try again.  We are working hard to figure it all out.  Hiding works sometimes, but isn’t a solution. We are stuck with some lousy parts of our shared housing we can’t avoid. We just may not do what the other adults hope for at times.  We may violate some rules until we know what they are and we may error on the side of what’s fun and tastes good.  But clarity about time, lengths of visits and food allowed is helpful. Talking together is helpful.

Today you were here to visit and play in the sandbox, but the neighbor came by with her 3 yr old and wanted you to play at their house.  Mommy sent you off happily.  But later you felt jipped.  You missed that relaxed quiet play time.  You still wanted a dose of gma.  Even though what you got instead was very cool. Katie brought by the mini horse, you clamored up and headed off double bare back down the drive to play with Shelby.  You were off to hold some puppies.  What a lucky kid, said Grandpa, riding a pony to go play with puppies!  A blessed life. Blessed children that we bathe in love and kindness.  Mommy got to say its okay. Take charge. That was good.