We seem to be a unit, a set, a flock, a pack; a new and fully functioning social group. Its only been a couple of months, but the thousands of hours together, the sticky glue of shared daily activities, straightening out crinkled interactions, and some stressful accommodations; the relationship-building, the making of this family seems to be occurring to us, because of us.
You are in love with your new room, the soft bed, fluffy comforter and the low windows overlooking the garden. You and your sister sit and play on the warm and radiant flooring. You seem relaxed. Doing okay. Your sister sleeps better, awakens at a more reasonable hour and is eating well. We thrive on routine.
We get up, Liza runs to get her diaper and climbs to the couch and puts up her legs for changing. I pour a dozen Fruitful O’s in a two-handled cup with an owl on it. “OOOOO” she says each day and munches her O’s under a fuzzy blanket that Grammie made years ago with horses on it. She lowers her voice to deeply growl, “Hmmmm…Hmmmm”, a horse whinny. I get coffee. “Hot” she says several times. Often palming the cup to validate her knowing. She still cries and tosses herself on the ground rather than trusts that I will really get her some juice. Today she began to fuss but pointed instead and I gave her a sippy cup of warm milk. She wriggled about and said, “Mmmmm.” We’ll do milk from now on. You and Grandpa are asleep for another hour or so. Liza plays, we read books and fix breakfast. Sometimes she stands on the stool and works with me at the counter.
I wonder how you really are. I see you with daddy, removed and vaguely remote. It takes awhile. Mommy picks up Liza, hugging and greets you verbally. Daddy twirls her around and kisses her neck vigorously. I ask you to hug them, them to snuggle and squeeze you, too. We are working on a schedule for quality time, for visitation. More regular time, longer periods together. It seems crucial for your relationships and to maintain a warm, trusting and nurturing quality that has a chance to endure. Mom and Dad are working to develop a schedule for weekly time with you kids. By the hearing we will have agreed to some things. I’ll be happy when that is over. Your mommy’s mom is very upset and wants to come tell the judge. I wish she’d come all this way to see you. Rather than come all this way to ruffle her feathers in public. I’m not sure how mommy will do with this.
Well, buddy, you look pooped, a day with Gina at the park, at her house and learning new things, meeting new people. Let’s rest a bit, cook some dinner and read some books. I love you. And now that I have a little time on my own, my back is healing, anything seems possible. And sunny days are nice too. Gma