The dog is sick.  Projectile squirts every 20 minutes.  Vet says just a stomach disorder.  You think? I was hoping I’d get a reprieve from the multiple outs all night for pee and now this.  Isn’t he ready for the big bye-bye?

Strange rifle shaped shadows on the floor as I get up to check everyone’s blankets.  Odd, I think, what’s making those shadows?  Slipping around them, I re-cover your chilly feet and uncover Ellie’s sweaty head. Through the kitchen I stop and curiously poke at the shadow, its wet and UGH smells like…yes.  It is liver-colored streaks and puddles all over the floor, shot from a rifle and in its image.  Hot towels, vinegar, water and dry.  An hour and a half later I can still smell it on my hands.

You miss all the excitement, because it happens all night.  After you are in bed.  But lately, buddy you have been awakening, can’t sleep, fears of storm, growling animals and mean faces.  Last night Grandpa got home from his work trip and you slipped in bed next to him, needle sharp nails, pointy knees and icy feet.  I willingly tucked your feet between my thighs and fell asleep.  Grandpa moaned, exhaled deeply until I scooped you up and returned you to your bed, next to sissy who was jabbering in her sleep.

Your teacher said you were aggressive and uncooperative on Wednesday.  About time, I thought.  Oh, dear, she said; wondering about medication making you irritable, changes in your life.  CHANGES?  Jeeze.  Talk about changes.  Give you a break.  Look who your classmates are.  The biggest change they deal with is that their nanny added a purple streak in her hair. I am unsettled, so you certainly must be. You call out telling me something is growling at you and an ugly kind of face is there.  Me, I tell you.  I am snoring too loud.  Sorry.  Maybe don’t sleep with me when grandpa’s gone.  I’m just too loud. That happens when I am out of sorts, sleepless and overly tired.  Sorry.  Maybe that’s what’s up with you, too.

Liza sure seems to be doing well.  Her vocabulary increases daily with clearer pronunciation always a surprise. Down, down down goes the bathwater.  Dink, for drink.  Eat, eat, eat from E-E-E just last week.  Oh Dear. Funny, she says and squinches her face in a silly way. Mmmm, da kitchen. You and I say, mmmm, sumpthin from the kitchen! You find delight in her capability and also find it confusing.  You used to be the one to scramble the eggs, the only one to stand at the counter helping cook and the only one on my lap.  And sometimes you struggle with that, squeeze her out, snatch things or cry to do it too.  Were figuring it out and trying to keep it positive that Liza can do new things everyday.  We celebrated the other day that Ellie kept her shoes on in the car.  We did a “happy dance” together when we got home and sissy seemed proud of herself. But today, well, growth occurs in irregular spurts.  (Kind of like Metro’s you know what-no, not really.  I am gross sometimes.) Love you, have a good day at school, get a nap so you can be kind to your friends. gma