His board so small; the sea so big

Balance lessons

Getting away…

Twice in three days, an 8 hour drive-all alone. Kids left with mom and dad at our house. A mom and dad unemployed, hungry, no fuel and living in the nether-regions of Lompico.  And I went to help our newly affluent AJ move into his  one-bedroom apartment in Newport Beach.  For me it was a much needed respite, it gave Ann time with the kids and gave you kids time with parents. Grandpa went to the lake to meet his brother and cousin and open the cabin.  The dogs stayed with you.

His apartment was part of a mile wide complex with six pools, dozens of hot tubs, BBQ areas, tennis courts, gym and hundreds of young working professionals, like him. Its a resort complex, tiki umbrellas, firepits, security gates and guards and 100s of partying young people, near Costa Mesa about 10 minutes from the ocean.  Surf buddies are easy to find and on-site parties plentiful. He chose well for himself. But had not enough time yet to make it a home.  He got a bed. That’s it.  Clothes in suitcases, strewn on the floor, crusty to-go cartons on the counter, sandwich and salad fixins’ in the refrigerator (much like his travels-the rooms, apts etc, except for grandma’s red holiday towels in the bath).  Calls came in every few minutes.  Customers after six, work associates on Saturdays and Sunday.  Its the real deal.  I watched him changing.  I watched him manage moral and business dilemmas, negotiations. Reminds me of an adult life, hubby’s time building his business and the blurry lines between our private time and work. He feels the change.  Big time. Feels the loss. Seeking balance; whether its possible or not.

I brought a car full, lost in the space after stowed away.  Went to IKEA, Staples, some expensed, most not.  Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Ralph’s grocery.  We spent a little fun time, eating, shopping and talking about his business and organization ideas.  Very sweet.  I heard him say on the phone.  I want my mom for a roommate. Growing up is painful. And I was watching his skin peel and shed. His new raw self emerge.  The emotions, his internal  uneveness and his steady work self.

He surfed early, left after I went to bed anxiously trolling for women.  He could use a partner about now, he says. His life would be more whole, balanced in so many ways, but more complex in other ways.  But that’s what he wants.  I’ll be glad when this self occupied, girl crazy guy vaporizes. He can locate a Brazilian in any crowd and did many times, hearing an accent, a fashion look or a Portugese phrase uttered in a check out line.  He’s such a good flirt. Makes contacts, networks and finds friends in men and women all day long.  I was floored by his outgoing nature, and dedication to meeting, talking and really connecting with people-old and young, cab driver, waiter, waitress, shopper anywhere.  I realize I hadn’t hung out with him for a long time.  Barcelona?

When I left he still needed eggs, veggies, a couch, chair, and wall decor. He called today and asked me how to make coffee in the Chemex drip maker. And had just found the food I stowed away while he was surfing. He told me he’d pay me back tomorrow. After his first paycheck.  “Good.  I can give it to your brother,” I didn’t say.

On left-surfing traveller -Right the intense dream job


I was glad to see you two kids when you got up this morning.  I wanted to hang out here and do nothing.  So that’s what we did.  Had a lovely day.  And look forward to some help tomorrow.


Learning to play well together

One thought on “His board so small; the sea so big

  1. What ever the future holds for Orion and Elle, it will not be Nico’s and Ann’s life. What you are doing is so hard – and so important.
    I think of you all the time, miss you terribly.
    I send love

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