Crying again

When you kids have colds, coughs and fevers you miss your mommy, you miss your dead dog and your friends at school.  Sickness hits again.  Fever, cold, ears percolating and breathing raspy.  Tissue box empty, crusty nose wiped clean and both in bed.  Can’t go out of the house with germy coughing, snotty noses, so we stayed in for four days…and tomorrow is daddy day for three days.  Sorry.  But this is what is.  Bedtime tonight Liza cried for her friend Sage, you for your dead friend, doggie Georgia. I wanted to cry for both of you and for grandpa out of town on work business for two weeks.

Needing a grown up, I asked my mom and sister to come by today, you played as if not sick.  I was so grateful.  Liza says, we are fairies.  Okay, Can I be Vidia? you ask.   You flit around the deck and slam the playhouse door.  You two are friends. Its a good thing.  Your fever tonight made me wish I’d taken you to the doctor earlier.  But you just started talking about a bubbling ear after dinner. Tomorrow is daddy day, I transfer you kids in the morning until Wednesday.  Its harder when you are sick.  Discontinuity is hard on all of us.  But sharing is good.  I am done in.  You told me that your brain forgets how to work on ideas and goes around and around when your sick.  I can relate. Mine does that too. Even when I’m not sick.100_3927


Chicks almost ready to go into coop.  They are stinky, messy and what the heck was I thinking? They can move with a night warming light next week. You kids asleep and I’ll think about you both awhile longer.  Liza is really interesting.  She pushes me, touches me deeply and demands my all. Sleep for me by 9:30, blueberry pancakes and off to daddy’s by 9.  Life is bearable and sometimes very sweet.  gma

Status Update


Not sure what we are looking at so you got your binoculars.  Is it a juvenile hawk?  Sharp Shinned Hawk, you decide. Beautiful weather- looking to hike today; you finally got over intestinal flu and are well again.  Our new schedule has me delighted.  This week was the last one for nanny.  Saving money is good.

My job ends in June.  (Whew that will be a relief.  As much as I have loved it, this is a lousy phase-nasty business of editing from 4 min to 2 on each of our videos.  Who changed the rules on 50 completed, (but not now) videos?  UGH) While you are at school I drag myself though each clip, photo and re-do the lines as much as possible.  First time group-consensus and editing, now at crunch time, me and my teammates work solo.. in silos.  Not good.

So, buddy.  You and Liza now go to Daddy’s on Sunday morning. (Step mom and daddy work on Sat nights) You stay until Tuesday at 5. Then on Wednesday, so I can work the full day, I take you to school and daddy picks you up and brings you back at 5 again for dinner.  The yard may feel small to you at daddy’s, but you can explore, climb the tree, swing on the disc and soon you’ll have chickens over there.  You can have play dates with friends and go on outings with daddy.  Its good for you guys to be back with daddy.  And step-mom fills a little of the empty space that mommy left. She is trying to be a good mommy.

Your sister loves her friends at preschool.  I watch them greet her, they hug and giggle and the teachers seem to genuinely care for her and about her.  One of her friends is a rambunctious 4 yr old boy.  Another a third-grader that calls to her as we enter the classroom.  Its a delight to watch her in her place, her own little world. Image

Rice-based Meltable packing peanuts-Ellie’s tells us she wants to be sent off to her mommy’s.  “Go get a stamp.” (Or a bucket of water!)

Things going well right now.  You are looking forward to a relaxing summer.  Now we just have to figure out where the bunnies are getting into the garden so we can plant our pole beans!  Life is good. gma