Out of Sorts

Today I’d say I’m out of sorts.  You may be feeling similarly.  We walked together to feed the horses and it started to rain.  The wind is terrific and very cold.  You couldn’t even make it without a rest back to the house.  You need a physical development intervention, buddy. I have to go to teach tonight at Cabrillo and I hope you and Daddy have power.  It’s so windy.  I told daddy to start a fire, to use the lantern, to hang out here and make burger patties for dinner with ketchup and broccoli.

They took the sink and the dishwasher and the washing machine, dryer, clothes hanging rods from the closets and some of the carpet sections for the remodel. I have heaps of hanger clothes, dirty clothes, dirty dishes and messy floors.  Its getting a bit harder each day to stay here.  But they aren’t done yet with the new old house, so after the bathroom fan, blinds, fireplace slate, finishing the plumbing and moving our satellite system, telephone, DSL and getting our beds set up, we’ll be there.  Probably Friday and Saturday.

But for now I absent-mindedly dumped a half cup of cold tea into the hole where the sink was-so I set up the wash tub, towels and drainer in the bathtub.  It’s confusing to remember  not do things that I do habitually.  Gathering laundry for another day, tossing it in the washer, washing off the table, rinsing hands and hanging my jacket in the closet.  That’s okay, but you and your daddy are here too.  And he keeps leaving to get air, he says, more like get poison in his lungs.  Yes he still smokes.  I think he thinks he’s fooling me.  He moves so slowly.  He is a slow unfocused worker.  He thinks he can sit and watch TV in the daytime.  UGH.  I got him outside moving things from the shed, stacking, and raking gravel after the neighbor brought a load for the leveling of the tent area. He isn’t very energetic about any of it.  It’s so hard to watch him dragging around.  It reminds me of his teen years.  But he just turned 29 yesterday.  Oh, dear.  maybe I have to stop being a teen mom.  Maybe I just tell him what has to be done and a timeline and let it be.  Not daytime TV, get a vasectomy, get a job, clean your feet, brush your teeth.   I need a break. Off to town, leaving Daddy and you to yourselves.  I should stop and get a massage!  Ha.  I love you, buddy and so glad to see you.  I am running on empty today.

2 thoughts on “Out of Sorts

  1. You are a special women that all of us can learn from. Orien and his daddy are lucky to have you. Blogs seem like such a healthy outlet. So is teaching. Blessings to a special friend.

  2. Nancy, it must be so difficult trying to juggle all of this right now; not to mention the emotions that go along with it! The best thing to focus on is what you are doing to make Orien’s life better. I hope you get some help from your son, and I hope your classtime at Cabrillo went well. Take care of yourself! And, keep writing – it seems like a good way to vent!

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