I hear that your Montana grandma is coming to town today. Your mommy mentioned it to me on Saturday. I asked if she was coming to celebrate your mommy’s birthday on the 8th. Not she has to leave on Sunday, she said. Oh, for the hearing? Hmm. That’s not gonna be any fun, is it? This is the hearing that was delayed because mommy wasn’t well, but then she showed up anyway at the courthouse with her new godfamily of 20 yr olds from the Mormon church. This is all more bizarre that real life. But then, I guess that’s where the best stories come from. I think I’d rather just read this one.
So if she really shows up, mommy and her mommy will read my response to your mommy’s response to my one year update on the guardianship that I wrote last November. She will read your daddy’s response to your mommy’s response and then she will likely be angry. What will that look like in court on Friday? What might it sound like? She may say its daddy’s fault. She may say that her daughter is the best and most wonderful mommy she ever knew. She may say she wants a turn being your guardian. She may say we all lie. She may suggest you and mommy and your sister go live with her. I wish she just wrote a letter. UGH.
Tomorrow they wanted to take you from school and over to mommy’s for dinner. I got worried and told mommy that I was worried. I don’t want you to go off with your Montana grandma and mommy and wait for you to come back. I said a park that I take you to was okay and I’d wait for you and then take you home. That would be better. Your mommy wasn’t happy with that. There’s enough mad and hurt going on for the whole world right now.
And then there is the lawyer who called and talked through the possibilities. And the money that all that talking costs and the possibility of it going to trial and the more money makes me sick. And all the times we have to report to the court everything bad that happened and ignore the sweetness between you and your mommy. I want us to make these plans, not the court. But its too late for that. This is how it goes. Please come and go Friday, be gone. Like soon. Please let us be for another year while mommy makes plans and tries hard to make happen what she wants for herself. (As I say this I know that mommy is confused, hurt, sad and I feel a little of that too. Her life hasn’t gone how she hoped it would.)
By the way, I am watching you grow these days. Your legs ache from the inches you add each night to your skin, muscle, tissues, tendons, ligaments, bones and the stretchy nerves and veins struggle to keep up. You think about things differently now that you are five. You wonder about the tube that goes from your bladder to make the pee come out, why you can’t swallow every time you want to and why it is that your muscles lock your throat if you think too hard and why we can’t have some geese babies so they’d imprint on you and act like your children. Then today you tell me that you are going to have two children and will bring them up to see me but you will live in town because the bobcats can’t eat your baby geese in town. But you will visit every single day, you assure me. You will drive me places you tell me, in your red car.
And Liza, Happy half-birthday, girlie. Dressing yourself for a year, but now, choosing your own clothes and refusing the ones I choose sometimes with a big set of ideas of your own. Singing songs that you make up, talking to people about things and telling everyone, good morning, thank you and your welcome. Oops, sorry you say to me when you hand me something and it drops. Your auditory skills are tremendous as much as you are physical and I can understand your particular smart places now that you speak so clearly. Your social knowledge is growing so fast. You are appropriately and surprisingly polite. You sing the sassy na-na-na-na-na song of teasing after a day at school. And tell me everyone’s name and the color of their night night blankies, the kind of shoes they wear and if they cried that day. (accurate or not, I find it entertaining that you recite these things)
You both are precious, healthy and so interesting to Grandpa and me. We mostly have fun. I’ll update you after Friday. gma