Coke and Coffee

Your mommy is mad at you.  Daddy is fed up.  Uncle Tommy and mommy’s mom (that other Grandma) are annoyed.  Everyone is in a tizzy.  What about you, buddy?  How are you doing?  “Motel now, Grandma?” you asked me when I called.  I am at home I told you.  That was fun wasn’t it?  Are you remembering our vacation in Montana, the zoo, the little swimming pool and the motel?  You sure are.  Especially now; you are longing for it.  Me too.  You got in a little trouble with your family when you woke up at night and played all by yourself. But you are three.  That’s what three-year olds do-Try things out.  Touch, climb, reach, test, drink, pour, write, draw, sing, and cry. You were alone all night until daddy got up at 6.

You drank coffee and flat soda and wrote with permanent marker on the walls, beds, furniture, books and yourself. You sang and talked to yourself according to your mommy. She was mad and kept trying to sleep. Where were all the grown ups? All trying to not have to get up.  You know what? You never should be alone like that.  I am glad you are safe.  I wonder what happened that they don’t even know about?  Maybe you were sleepy until you had all that caffeine pumping through your little body.  Oh, my.  Please know that you are not a bad boy.  You are three years old.

Sometimes I want to come and scoop you up and bring you here with me and grandpa but how does that help you figure out your place with your family?  I want you to know that I am confused. I will have so much fun when we visit in a few weeks, but how can I help you manage Montana?  We can manage your testing and anxiety at my house just fine.  We can help you let go of worries for a bit and relax.  Working together, yes, we are fine.  But what about you, our little 3 yr old?  I try to imagine what I can do to help you bridge California and Montana.  But, I haven’t yet figured it out.  When I talk with your mommy and ask her to think about what her ideas are for meeting your needs (and hers). She says good things.  I hope she really tries them.  But sometimes people are good at knowing what to say but then can’t really do it. Someday you may have some good ideas for her.  And for your daddy too. We are always learning.  Remember that.  Every occurrence is a learning opportunity.  And that’s true!

But for now, I guess we can hope they pay occasional attention, find a few happy moments, that tiny but good moments get noticed and sweet times occur daily.  For all of you.  The story that you are writing about life, life in Montana and your Grandma and Grandpa’s role is in draft now; a work in progress.  Let’s make it a good story with lots of action, joy, playfulness and adventure.  Some tension makes it even better for character growth and making good changes. With a little focus on learning about each other when there are problems, when we try something and it doesn’t work out; we hope we encounter forgiveness, understanding and hopefulness.  Let’s not look too soon for the person you will become, but enjoy the child that is here now and working hard to figure out so many things.   The struggle is not the point, you are; preserving and developing your character and well-being are.  You are the point.

Grandma and Grandpa love you buddy; and so do your mommy and daddy and Montana family.  I’m sure of it. gma

Leave a Reply