Good Morning little buddy,
Its rainy here today, the trees, driveway, roofs and even the dogs are wet. The horses are wet, too; they like to stand outside in the rain to listen to the night. It’s so noisy in the barn with the rain tapping, banging and spattering on the metal roof. It sounds like a rock band percussion set in there. So the horses like it outside better. It says drip, pitter-pat and whooshes through the trees. It’s much sweeter on their tall furry ears. Whoosh. Storms in Bonny Doon are rainy, Montana storms are snowy, too. Did you know that people are stormy sometimes, too? You can watch people-storms brewing on their faces, in their bodies, voices and the way they breathe (or don’t). Did you see that in your mommy last week? I heard a mood change in Montana. A storm was brewing.
Hey, I said hello to you yesterday. Grandpa did, too. You said you wanted to see Bonny Doon. We said okay. Pretty soon your mommy and daddy will be able to talk to you about our planned vacation. Maybe not until a couple of days (one?) before Grandpa picks you up at the airport. Did you get the letter I sent you with the pictures of you playing? I wanted your mommy to see them too. All of you to remember the sweetness of your relaxed and uninterrupted play. I hoped to cheer her up. To change the course of the storm. To be a strong wind blowing in some fresh and replenishing air. I thought your mommy was mad at me. Actually, she was. Remember last week when she was so angry at you? I think she was just grumpy, grumpy with all of us-with herself, too. She wrote for help-that was good, but so hard for me to read…
“I am lost when it comes to his behavior. I cry myself to sleep every time me and him crash heads which has been an every day thing, since your visit. (me) No fault to anyone, no blame neither but it is frustrating….VERY frustrating! He is more than obedient with Dad and he has never told him things that he’s said to me. What am I doing wrong to make him say that he hates me, that his daddy hates me? Why does he call me names and disobey me every moment of every day? Nasty looks, hitting at me, telling me no, ignoring me, telling me he wants to live with his grandma and grandpa in Bonny Doon and not with mommy, saying that he doesn’t love me…..What am I to do?” I’m his mommy
I wanted to help, fly out and get you until mommy got counseling, help, found friends…call the police, someone; I was pacing. I made myself sick with worry. Then I remembered that I had friends. Oh, buddy, the right friends are like having fresh water to drink. Essential. That means, absolutely necessary. Some very good friends of mine helped me think about how to help your mom and dad and think differently about your behavior. About their behavior, too. It was the right thing. You are complicated, buddy. Aren’t we all? Anyway, this was what my friend Janis said to your mommy and I thought she was right. Isn’t she clever with putting her insights into understandable words for you and your parents.
“I’m so sorry your son is saying hurtful things to you. We both know that he does love you. Many kids say hurtful and angry things to their parents when they are stressed, upset, confused or sad. They are trying to figure out the right words to express their feelings and I wonder if he is trying to say, “I don’t quite understand this new life and this new place. I miss my old life. I don’t know how long it will take to adjust to my new life and I’m confused and sad and a little worried because I don’t know how the people in my old life will still be included in my new life.”
Whew. I am glad that the worst of the storm is over for now. But keep your gear ready, buddy. I hang mine right next to the door. And, in Montana- storms are just around the corner.
I hope your mommy and daddy can find a place to live. Mommy said that is the biggest problem now. That’s how the storm began. Daddy can’t stand it there she told us. But they don’t qualify as renters, but she keeps trying. Oh, dear. Mommy’s hopefulness is good, may be helpful, but I think a miracle is what’s needed. And that is hard to conjure up, all the way from California. But I’ll work on it. Maybe my friends can help. Or maybe you’ll just come back. Hey ,why not?
Love you, buddy . Kisses to your sister and mommy and daddy, too. gma