Today I feel like I did when I could finally bring Baby AJ home to our house after his birth and his short hospital stay.  I was high, elated and twirling with joy and unbelievably unaware of what was to come .  I knew that things would never be like they had been.  I had your Grandpa Pete, your 2 yr old daddy and life was simple and sweet.  And it would never be that way again.  I knew that much.  I worried I’d be overwhelmed, Grandpa Pete would not want to come home to noisy babies and this needy mom.  I worried that the sweet times I had all alone with your daddy were forever gone and couldn’t imagine loving everybody enough.  It was in fact a joyous and a scary time for me.  But it was great, fund, hard and sweet. Today is a little like that.

We have hoped for you to come back so we could look after you. You came back.  Daddy seems relaxed and happy. Now mommy gets to return too.  And our little Liza. Everything will be different.  The balance of the teetering and bobbing mobile tips and at times re-balances.  But it is sometimes so out of whack and costly, painful, hard and messy.  Your mommy brings Liza, your baby sister and that is so wonderful.  Today we will get her some little clothes for camping life.  You and I will choose them.  We are helping ourselves get ready.  Mommy needs some things too.  Daddy has no money.  Mommy has a toothache.  Daddy needs surgery.  Is this my life now? Yours? Ours? Is it? My life is theirs? Or is their life mine?

I guess bringing daddy home from Connecticut was the biggest change of all. Yep.  The biggest of all.  He was my baby like AJ my first one. And we are still feeling the wonder of that event from 29 years ago. Today is yet another chapter, another adjustment, set of responsibilities and challenges.  Oh my.  I want to rest a little.  Not now.  Not yet. Buckle up, Buddy, let’s go for another ride.  gma