Unidentified need stuck in my craw


I think it must have been Grandma Coleman that said it.  “stuck in your craw” I can hear it in her old radio voice, too loud for inside.  My mind is pacing, thinking… back and forth, back and forth, purposelessly seeking something.  The forehead pushes down into my brow, lips taught, shoulders strung up to my ears and my feet follow behind; wandering. I wander, wonder, ponder, plunder.  And then do another load of wash.

You two are growing, changing, and more ready for whatever comes your way.  You talk about dying, wonder when you die if you can see yourself or are your eyes dead first. And what’s ” mind’s eye” mean? And think its funny when your You Tube video says that script you made up, over and over and roll on the floor laughing at your own funny ideas.

pikNk-6W5HOIANG_5wwmBA's  Animation  (cut and paste into browser for a short silly)

You and Liza both ride your balance bikes all over the concrete walkways, deck and driveway.  Liza is new to it, so you tell her where to be careful not to ride, and she goes there to jump over a bump or try it for herself.  She is brave. You both chase and catch butterflies, lizards and let them go all sticky and damp from their visit.  The deck is your playpen.  Snacks, lunch, garden boxes, bird watching, bikes and trampoline.  You two are busy out here.  We love it.  Its our outdoor living room where we spend hours each day.  Then grandpa BBQs many nights, smoking salmon, chicken, shrimp kabobs, grilled veggies.  Paradise.

Liza’s auditory functioning astounds us.  She picks up repeated words at school, Aubrey’s and at home and we watch her practice, “Also” ending every sentence this week, ” consider” was last week and she says that “shiny things glisten” after learning the word related to the silk of the silk worms cocoons in her classroom at school. “The water glistens, grandma.  It glistens, see?”  Image


Please let out friend the butterfly go, Liza.  But Grandma, she likes me.  She will still like you as she flutters around the lemon tree and collects nectar.  Her wing scales are delicate.  I delicate, too.  No, you are strong and capable, Liza.  Later she picks up the dog’s ear to whisper, “you are strong and capable.”ImageVery fun time for all of us when Liza lets herself shine.

You are sick this week, buddy.  Asthma so bad  that as you laid on your side playing with blocks on the carpet, popping out air puffs, I thought you were being a train.  No, you explained, my breathing is just tired today.  It sure is.  Last week of school next week and they’ll celebrate with a ceremony.  Liza’s last day at Coastal Community Preschool, too as she readies to change to Bonny Doon Preschool. We’ll take the summer off, you two at Aubrey’s a couple of days, swimming and music filling a few other days.  We go to Echo Lake in early August. That’s your favorite part of summer.  I know.  Okay buddy.  Holding you both precious, my Image

glistening little stars, also….gma

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